31 March 2013

Sunday Tap: Options

Someone a while back gave me the best piece of dating advice. If you can't wait for it, just skip the narrative and look for the point of the conversation at the end.

Dating should be "easy" and you really shouldn't have to "work" at it. Easy in the sense that there really shouldn't be any resistance on either part to have the relationship at all and work in the sense that you shouldn't have to be keeping the relationship a secret from your family who have been fighting for decades and the only way you can be together is by faking your own death so that the two of you can live in the town over that may or may not be contaminated with some sort of plague in the soil. That or trying to schedule and reschedule a time when you can meet up in your busy schedules.

Hoping not to jinx anything, I'm writing today's missive the morning of a talk I'm about to have. It's the "where do I stand" talk. I know, I know. I hate it too and if you even have to have it, you may already have your answer. But here's the thing (because there's always a thing), when you invest time into something and you grow to care about someone, you want to know that there is a reasonable and rational explanation to things and events.

Without getting into much detail about it, a weekend when my schedule has opened up to spend a glorious spring weekend with my boo, it so happens that two groups of friends from out of town have come in to NYC on holiday and another whom he won't be able to attend an engagement party. Enter me - someone who was supposed to hang with him has now been bumped out. And only after an emotion-filled text of just "Ok." did I get a reschedule. I mean, aren't we dating? I felt like a friend more than a guy who's been with someone for more than two weeks.

So here's the deal: Why didn't he just come up with an alternative on his own? Why did I have to prod on like a needy fuck? Why didn't he just invite me at some point, with or without his friends? But here's the other deal: one group are family friends. Then there is the engagement guy. Then there are his friends from home. I understand - to some extent. I probably wouldn't want him meeting any of the three groups if these worlds collided one long weekend for me.

So, part of me just wants to brush it under the rug because of how great it is when I am actually with him and I really will forget everything else that just happened. But the question is SHOULD I forget?

Hoping for the best.

Point of the conversation: Never make someone a priority who only makes you an option.

- DeeCue

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