18 February 2013

Objects May Be Closer Than They Appear



People always say things like, "Look to the future" or "Don't look back." But no one ever warns you of the blind spots; the things you've left behind that have a way of affecting you, even though you can't see them anymore.

There was this guy, who blew in and out of my life with such destructive force, I would've been safer camping out on the Jersey Shore during Hurricane Sandy.  It took me nearly a year to recover, prolonged by his nagging habit of popping out of the facebook ether to let me know he still cared. I told myself I was fine. I was over it. But while my lips said one thing, my heart said different; and whatever my heart says, my body is quick to follow.

I was letting the past dictate my future, and worse yet, I didn't even notice it. Sometimes it's subtle, an agitated tone in your voice, or a half-hearted smile. Other times it's downright cruel,  like biting the head off of the person you love. We can't always be aware of how our unconscious feelings impact our actions. But we can limit what blind spots we let linger behind us. So we may have to give up cyberstalking our ex, or refrain from logging onto someone else's account because we still happen to know their password.  Sometimes it means throwing things away - pictues, momentos, anything that may distract our eyes from the prize. I'm not saying throw the baby out with the bathwater just because things didn't turn out exactly as you planned. But if holding on to those memories is keeping you from fully embracing what you have in front of you, then it's time to let go.

It takes a conscious choice to focus both your eyes on the present and the future. The past is so powerful, immortalized,  that it's hard to imagine anything being that great again. But you know what they say: Life is full of surprises. You don't wanna miss one when it comes.

Eyes front Mister. ;)

Xoxo
Johnny C





2 comments:

  1. Ugh, so true, J. One of the best (and worst) ways I've found to ease someone out of your feelings-radar is to make them ugly, repulsive. Like, every aspect of them, ie. what they post on your facebook; what they used to say that normally was just a pet peeve; what they look like; how they act. Unfortunately, it works. Too well. There is no turning back from that one.

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    Replies
    1. I've done that myself. And as you said, it works too well and there's no turning back. Letting go without vilifying someone is tough! But I've learned, those ugly, repulsive feelings are still "feelings". So in essence, I still feel as much as I did for them before, only now in a bad way instead of good. Bree from Desperate Housewives said it best:

      "The opposite of love isn't hate. It's indifference. And if you hate me, that means you still care, and we're still connected..."

      I've come to believe that letting go means fully relinquishing as much of your feelings as you can— good and bad.

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