05 November 2012

One Sock at a Time

I survived Hurricane Sandy and all I got was this lousy car wreck.

Folks, I'm ok. I got several emails so definitely: thanks for your concern. My building still has no power and I lost my car because the salt water got to the undercarriage and it's going to corrode everything once it dries out. No worries, no sweat. No one was hurt in the process which is better than I can say for Staten Island. Thoughts go out to them. I am currently at my friend's place who has power and all. She is making some beef stew which smells divine.

Anyway, this was the longest week of my life - of doing nothing. I had my phone and was

[Just got power!]

bored out of my mind. We were going on five days with no power (although I had hot water, gas, booze and good friends), but I was horny as anything. It was like I was in an endless game of edging with no release time in sight. Well, not really, but you get me, right? Being stuck without my normal avenues of release was killing me. I could go on Grindr or some of the other sites, but you could hardly travel to some places in the city yet. Why torture myself - see Edging.

On Saturday (yesterday), I had enough. I turned that sucker on and found a guy in Chelsea I usually hang with when I'm at G Lounge. Castle is a cute, 5'5" lean top with gangsta swagger. As I'm approaching his apartment, I realize my iPhone battery is at the 20% mark. That's when I start pooping myself: what will I listen to on my way home? How will I post on Facebook? How will I comment on people's accounts about how selfish they are for wanting the NYC Marathon to have happened? How will I access Twitter? How will I update everyone on my every move? After the initial panic, I remember I am going over to a guy's place who has power.

When I get into his house, I immediately say: "Sup. You have power? Can I charge my phone?" And he, of course, says: "Absolutely." I plug in and strip and get down to business.

Now, remember I said 20%? Guys, you know it takes more than thirty minutes to get a decent charge of 75-80%. And my past trists with this guy have always been a good 10 minutes. So I had to do what  I had to do: stall - from start to finish. And it was painful.

Every time I was close to cumming, I pulled back. At first he thought it was awesome, but then I started to pick up he was a tad annoyed. Like I said, I never hung out with him for very long. In and out. So when we passed the 10 minute mark, you could tell he was a little uncomfortable. It took every ounce of me not to nut. I was dying. We hit thirty minutes and I pretend to need to take a break because "he's just too big," but I check my phone instead and make up some story about "oh, my mom got her power back in Jersey." (Shit. Only at 55%.) None too amused, I resume the position (Box of kittens. Yuck. Dick Cheney naked. Yuck. Sarah Palin naked. Yuck. Paul Ryan naked. Damnit.) and bust my load.

This is the point where not only in this case, but every scenario I just get dressed and peace the fuck out. But with only at about 60%, I ask him if I could shower because I don't have hot water at my apartment (lie). I take the LONGEST post-hook-up-still-at-the-guy's-place shower: five minutes which seemed like an eternity. I slowly dry myself off and started to get dressed. In slow motion. C'mon. I didn't know when the next time I'd be able to find a charging station and most of the Starbucks in that part of the city and mine were still shut down. So I commence conversation as I'm putting on each article of clothing:

DeeCue: Were you here the whole week?
Castle: No.
DeeCue: Where did you go?
Castle: Friends out in Pennsylvania.
DeeCue: Oh really? What part? I have a ton of friends out there. I went to Philly for undergrad and most of my college friends lived in state. Kinda weird that you go to college and befriend a group of people from the same state. You would think that there would be people from all over the country or world even going to your college.
Castle: Yeah, nuts.
DeeCue: When did you get back?
Castle: Today.
DeeCue: Wow. It must have been quite a shock to have come back to this. But you knew the Hurricane hit. Haha. It's the reason why you went to Pennsylvania to begin with, right?
Castle: Right.
DeeCue: Well, you can't ever assume to much, you know what they say about that. Ass. You. Me.
Castle: Heh.
DeeCue: So, I guess that's about it. Thanks for hanging again.
Castle: Cool.
DeeCue: Let me know when you are around and hit me up. Talk to you later.
[Castle opens the door and I walk through. As he is closing the door, I push my way back in.]
DeeCue: Oops! My phone. Haha. Can't forget that. Imagine if I left that here. I would've kicked myself in the ass if I left without it. So crazy. Glad I remembered though. How would I have called to get it from you. I would have had to ring your bell unannounced. You wouldn't answer because you weren't expecting anyone and I would just wait outside kinda of like I'm stalking you. Reminds me of that Will & Grace episode where Jack is stalking Kevin Bacon. Ever see that one?
Castle: Nah, might have missed that one.
DeeCue: Oh it's funny, Jack is stalking Ke. . . haha, yeah, so it was a pretty amusing episode.
Castle: Well, it was good seeing you.
DeeCue: Oh, haha. Good seeing you, too. Talk soon.

Door slams behind me.



Point of the conversation: Slow and steady wins the race.

- DeeCue

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