18 August 2012

Sextual Relationship

I hate when it happens.

I started talking to this guy off of Craigslist after I posted something about wanting to wank "next to a dude" to porn. He responded and asked if it was okay to just jerk and nothing else. Who am I to turn that down? When I finished cleaning up and setting up the visual stimulation (straight), I thought to myself "SHIT! I don't know what this guy looks like!" My friend ALWAYS told me to swap a face picture at the very least. When I was feeling reckless, I would play kamikazee hook-up. I guess this was one of those days.

About 20 minutes later, a knock on my door and in comes a decent looking, scruffy guy with a buzzed head, cut off t-shirt and mesh basketball shorts. Swoon. Playing it cool, I ask him if everything is cool and he just says "yeah" and we head to the couch. We sit next to each other, pull our shorts down to our ankles, whip-out our junk and start jerking. Already hard, my hand starts to creep over to his perfectly straight cock which he allows and grabs mine. One thing he kept repeating over and over - very quickly which I will never forget is "fuck yeah." My fingers inch their way to his hole and instantaneously his shirt and everything come off. His buzzed body with full stubble everywhere was exposed. A few more yanks, and it was done. A small wave, a "thanks for coming" smirk on my part, and it was over.

So this would not be blog worthy unless there was some more to it. And there was.

A few weeks later, my friend and I were doing some day drinking. He came up from North Carolina to visit his family up in the NYC area and, on his way back south, popped by for an impromptu bar crawl. The one thing about Sean is that he never takes anything seriously. He is a straight guy with his own agenda and we found a bond through the love of drinking, getting shit faced and blacking out. Years ago, he hooked up with a female roommate of mine who had delusions of grandeur as a pop singer. Ugh. Wait till I post those sad, sad music videos - it looks like she's on meth.

In any case, Sean and I were at my go-to date spot, reminiscing about a time when he and I brought our other friend who got so drunk that he hurled all over the beautiful cherry oak bar. Needless to say, we were kicked out and I had to hang low for about six months. A couple shots, several beers and dozens of laughs later, I scroll through my phone looking at emails while he was at the loo. I came upon Jay's email of interest and I quick shot him an email and asked "sup?"

Backing up a moment, I noticed quick that he was one of the "straight-guy" variety gays, ones who can't quite come to terms with it. And I, again, was the non-judgmental guy who just wanted to get off.

Not five minutes later, I received a response telling me to come by because his roommate wasn't there. Telling him I was a tad drunk, he said it was fine. So fine that I managed to get a mouth full of cock and a tongue full of "straight" boy ass. Of course he loved it and of course he came eventually, pushing me away because he was so close to cumming several times. What a surprise: how did we jump from "I only want to jerk" to "fuck yeah, eat my ass"?

Again, who am I to deny?

The next SEVERAL times became sexting - he either couldn't host me or I couldn't host him or he was "so hard and was already about to cum" - and the messages were so hot. He started to incorporate pictures and I started to incorporate video. What is wrong with me. And then it happened: he started talking about wanting to take my dick in his mouth and ass. But I was he was the only one who initiated the sexting. End of story.

Yes, there is more, but my point is not about how he fingers his ass in picture-texts to me nor is it about how he says he wants my cock and cum to be the first in his mouth so bad nor is it even about the fact that he wants to call when we are both jerking and about to cum so that we can hear each other nut. No, no sir. It is about how one is seemingly ashamed of being gay or afraid of just saying that you are gay. When I hit him up one time, all of a sudden, he allegedly was dating someone and we had to "cool it." What? What does that even mean? Was he afraid that it was getting real? That it wasn't a one sided phone sex situation? I was kinda pissed about it. Why was I always expecting/waiting for the "Yo u around" text messages at 9:30 pm and now that I wanted to get off when I wanted to, I'm denied? A couple days of being bitter, he hit me up with a hankering to jerk with me. Who am I to deny?

Point of the conversation: When is it truly going to be okay to be gay?

- DeeCue

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