28 October 2011

Trick or Treat

Since it’s that time of year again to channel you inner hooch and dress up for Halloween where it expected and accepted to show off your family jewels in a creative way, I am thinking about how my Halloween played out last year and wonder if this year will be the same.

When trying to research options for where to don my beer wench attire last year, I spent about a week trying to pick the best location/package for my friends and I, we decided on a place in the heart of the city so that if it was not awesome, we would take full advantage of the top shelf open bar we paid for and would wander accordingly.

My friends and I had walked by this place a million times but never went in to ‘The Lounge’ but they were doing an awesome Vegas in the 50s theme and it was a reason to finally check out the place. The theme was really well done and it just so happened to match my friends hoochie gangstA ensembles. I started talking to this guy dressed as Elf, he nailed it however, because he never broke character, he did not nail me. Don’t get me wrong, I LOVE that movie but there are only so many ways a guy can proposition a girl with his sugar plums and maple syrup before it just gets old, especially when I was sober.

Next up in my personal space was the 6’5’’ moo cow asking me if I wanted to touch his udders, um no thanks fool, I have my own and you are busted and flacid so please graze elsewhere. For every lackluster costume encounter, I did a shot because that’s the smart thing to do. Note to self kids, if you are going to dress as a gigantic smore, please don’t approach someone and ask if they want to be soaked in your marshmallow fluff….. I’d had enough and decided a relo was in order to preserve what was left of my costume and liver. My last encounter at The Lounge went down like this - if I could have cued the music to Sunglasses at Night I would have – because there, in my direct eye contact, was a guy dressed as the main character from the original My New Haircut youtube video complete with huge jar of protein mix and yeah, he asked if I wanted to taste his protein shake.

My crew and I decided to relocate back to our neck of the city and see how the night unfolded. I started talking to a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake with his dick in a box – his ensemble was the only creative interesting thing about him, what a shame to waste such a costume on a dismal personality. We decided to call it a night and have the only smeary make up on our pillows be from our costumes and not from Shreck or the rejected pirate sans peg leg, eye patch and hook.

Here’s to hoping for a little more tricks this Halloween ;-)

Point of the Conversation: Have fun this Halloween remembering that it’s not really a Kardashian or the Situation you’re going home with, which really is the best part because why would you want on all that anyway?! Just remember to fully inspect your partners packaging for anything suspicious before you take a great big bite of the good stuff ;-)

- Scarelett

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