30 August 2011

Sexy? No No No

Arrogant Red was a guy I got know in in my final year of University. A friend of a friend, we became acquainted over a number of parties and nights out. As his name implies, two of his most defining attributes were his dyed red hair and his sheer arrogance when it came to his looks and pulling abilities. Now I don't mind a bit of arrogance, at times it can be sexy, but most of time it comes off as annoying and presumptuous. With this guy, it was always the latter.

The first time we met was at a Halloween house party. Near the beginning he bounded over to me and a friend, sliding into the conversation. Odd I thought but as it was a party and I was already working my way through my first bottle of wine of the evening, I smiled and made conversation. His arrogance began to show later when I was perched on the kitchen side swigging my wine (classy I know). In the midst of a conversation I was having, he asked for my some of wine.

My friends laughed knowing full well I would never share. As he pushed his face closer to mine, smiling 'sweetly', it rankled me somewhat. I'm not a stingy person but when you're at a house party which is BYOB, you bring enough booze for yourself and make sure it gets poured down your own throat. And maybe the person's you're aiming to get off with.

What annoyed me was that he was clearly hoping to use his looks (and he was very cute) to procure free booze from a less attractive guy and lure them into false hopes of pulling him. Smiling back I sardonically replied: "I'm sorry, my wine is only shared with special people".

Undeterred he replied "Aw but clearly I am a special person". Already quite drunk by this point, I recall my reaction was a sort of snorting sound and proceeding to take a very large swig of the wine.

After that, he kept his distance from me for the next couple of months. By January however we were friends as our mutual friends were spending more time together. It was then I witnessed and experienced one of his other little tricks. Turns out he liked to dance flirtingly with a guy, give them the c'mon and just as he was about to kiss them, he would smile, push them away and carry on dancing with other people in the group. I lost count of how many times I saw this happen to poor guys who were left looking a bit bewildered. If could you look up cock tease in the dictionary, you would find a picture of him underneath.

Sometime later, the two of us had ended up back at mine after meeting up for coffee. You are probably thinking why at this point. I'm not entirely sure but I suspect it was down to him being very cute and a lack of anything, or rather one, to do.

We settled down to watch a DVD, wine in hands. The odd thing was that we had never actually kissed so I had no idea what, if anything, was going to happen. After about half an hour (so time for the wine to begin working then) he quite suddenly said "I could have you". Once again my reaction was indignation.

Technically it was true, he could have had at me any moment if he had jumped at me. But with an attitude like that? He wasn't coming anywhere near me.

I shot back "Err, no you couldn't."

After this he expressed disbelief, stating that he actually could and how much of an amazing kisser he was. Again I continually rebutted him, making hints towards his arrogance. Unbelievably, he then began saying what we could do, including blow jobs and 'double jerking each other'. Mm, how lovely. If this was an attempt to arouse me it was a pretty piss poor one. Realising he wouldn't give up, I gave a him a 'Mmmm, yeah maybe' and carried on watching the DVD. Yes, his arrogance was so repulsive that I'd rather watch Chicago then be given oral.

Later through conversation with people I discovered Arrogant Red liked to tell people he was horny over Facebook and try to lure them to his room at 2am. Given people's reactions, I suspect he was largely unsuccessful in that particular endeavour. For once I was pleased that I had let my brain override my crotch.

Point of the conversation: It doesn't matter how pretty you are, it won't make up for a deficient personality.

- James.B.

No comments:

Post a Comment

Thanks for your comment! Please 'follow" us by clicking on the "follow" link to the left of the site page. Glad you are reading.