25 August 2011

Off Limits to the Public


A few months ago, I responded to a casting call for some unheard-of musical theater piece on Craigslist. The project sounded pretty cool, and it was a paying gig, which would have been nice.

The audition was being held in a nearby neighborhood in Brooklyn, which was awesomely convenient. What I didn't realize until I got there was that the audition was at someone's apartment, which is uncomfortable in itself. It gets worse. I rang the buzzer, my host opened the door, and it hit me like a ton of bricks: I had been to an orgy at this apartment about 2 years before.

I tried to play it off cool. Two years is a long time. It was dark. There were a lot of guys there. I'll act like nothing is the slightest bit odd about the situation.

No luck. He immediately says, "Haven't I met you before?" Fuck,
"Yeah...I've...been here before..."
"You've auditioned for me before?"
"No, I...uh...came to a party here once..."
"One of my fundraisers?"
"No, a...sex party."

This elated him. "You came to one my parties? Did we fool around? Did you have fun? It's so hood to see you again!" Naturally, he had the home field advantage. I tried to act like I wasn't completely petrified of the situation (it was an audition, after all). The truth was, I did not enjoy myself at that party. I was attracted to one guy in the whole play, who for some reason was afraid of doing it in front of other people, and the rest either refused to acknowledge me at all or refused to believe I was a top (this is customary in my life). The host did blow me, and it was not pleasant. I wasn't about to say that now though.

After I sang for him, we sat around and shot the shit. He reminisced about the orgies he used to throw (which is apparently how he funded this theater company. Genius.) He asked me if I would ever come to one again, and I told him that I had a boyfriend now it wasn't an option for me. This idea of monogamy confounded him. He said, "wait, so if we were sitting here and I asked to suck your dick again, you would have to say no?" I confirmed. I'm in full support of any kind of open/monogamish/polyamorous relationship, but I don't think monogamy is such a rare occurrence among gay men nowadays that he should be so baffled by the concept.

Thankfully, someone else was coming in soon, so he eventually had to shoo me out. He told me I would be notified either way in a couple weeks or so.

I never heard anything.

Thank you, Jesus.

Lesson Learned: Google Earth is your friend.

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