11 August 2011

The Library is Now Open



A few years back, in the winter time, I was invited to a Christmas party by the roommate of someone I had formerly dated. We were never in a relationship, so I can't very well call him my "ex", but I'm going to anyway for simplicity's sake. It was a strange occasion, because when I arrived I only knew the host, but my ex wasn't there, which removed a sizable amount of tension. The gang present was very welcoming...especially one particular guy. This guy was very...pretty. Perfectly coiffed hair, artificial tan, expensive-looking clothing. Not someone I usually associate with. I won't deny that he was totally cute, but such people don't usually care for me. You can imagine my surprise when he was intensely forward about how cute he thought I was and how badly he wanted to make out with me.

Fifteen minutes later, you can bet we were hooking up in my ex's bed. It felt awesome. We only went to second base, but it was enough revenge for me. He actually ended up coming home with me, because I lived closer to his work than he did. As his intoxication level dropped, I could sense his interest following suit. He wasn't rude, but he wasn't nearly as much fun.

Cut to six months later...The night of the Tony Awards.

I wasn't popular enough party with members of the industry, so I ended up at a bar by myself, watching on the big screen. It was actually a very good time, and the people around me were very pleasant.

Later in the evening, I ran into the pretty guy I hooked up with in my ex's bed. I'm a friendly guy, so I went over to say hi. He turns to look at me, and without blinking, he says "Oh my god, you look a hundred pounds different." He didn't specify gain or loss, but considering he wanted to make out with me before and wouldn't even hug me now, I think I know what he was implying. My weight hadn't changed at all either way, but it was clear that he was the ginormous cunt that I had expected him to be at first meet. I felt brutally insulted, and the conversation was over very quickly.

Lesson Learned: It's not nice to judge a book by it's cover, but sometimes, it's accurate.

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