26 July 2011


I met him when we were stationed in Portsmouth, Virginia, at a party the girls in the condo next door were having. He was doing his OR internship and I was doing my OB/GYN internship. Here we were: a bunch of teens making our way into the world of work, responsibility, and adulthood via the United States Navy, but we still had a long way to go.

I saw Walter many times and we only usually traded pleasantries when we passed each other at work or when he would come to visit, so we really never spent much time to get to know each other or to really pay much attention to the other. I guess you could say we were just casual acquaintances?

When Desert Shield became Desert Storm, many of us were sent out to ships or the Marines, and a very small few were lucky enough to get assigned to hospitals close to, but no where near, the war zone. I lucked out and got the Naval Hospital Yokosuka Japan, general surgery ward. YAY!!!! My mom had been to Japan many times and told me all about it, so I was really stoked to get there.

After an 18 hour flight, a very scary ride from Tokyo's Narita Airport to the Naval Hospital, then checking in, imagine my surprise when I get to the floor of my assigned room - Walter, walking down the hallway. WOW!! He yelled my name like we were long lost buddies, ran to me and took me into a huge bear hug. Yeah, I was totally confused and thought I might be suffering from some major jet lag or something, but there he was. He told me to get settled then come to his room so we could do some catching up, which I did.

Months later Walter and I became roommates and that is when we really began to get closer than ever. I dont know when it happened or how it happened, but our living together connected us on some level that made us lovers. It wasn't anything physical and there was no sexual tension or anything like that, he knew I was gay and he had his girlfriend, and everything was fine. The way we interacted with each other in the room, how we presented ourselves at work and around the base, it was all very loving (?). Many of our friends, although from different circles, said to us many times that they thought there was something more to our friendship than just being roommates, but the more we contested it, the more they would say so. I guess we just didnt see it.

Yes, for me, it got to a point to where I felt something for Walter than I should have and there were times I think he felt the same way. There was the time he went back to the states on leave and when he got back he didnt want to talk to anyone until he saw me first. When he came to the room he dropped his bags and hugged me and told me how he missed me. I did miss him also, more than I think I should have... I dont know, I just dont know...

Point of the conversation: "The greatest gift ego in love contributes is the experience of emotional intimacy. Intimacy is a profound exchange of feelings, thoughts and actions in the here and now. It can be verbal or non verbal. It is authentic and is a reflection of who I am with you in this eternal moment." -- Brenda Schaeffer, Love's Way

- Broken Child

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