29 July 2011

Happy Sad Hour

This past Wednesday, I went out for a couple of happy hour appearances, one with co-workers and one to bid farewell to a friend who is moving this weekend. There were points throughout the night where it was more of a sad hour than happy when I saw the lengths people were going to for attention from someone who clearly was not into them – I have been that girl more times than I care to remember, but this time, it was people in their 30s, is this what it has come to? Continuing the cat and mouse game of drunken rejection on a random Wednesday night because people are too afraid to be themselves and/or still need a half dozen $2.00 beers before talking to someone of the opposite sex?

It was rather comical; the first place was a Mexican restaurant with a great patio area and dj rocking out. As I was waiting for my friends to get there, I grabbed a seat at the bar inside and ordered dinner. I observed my surroundings, 3 recent college grad’s to my right talking about how they are so stressed with their entry level jobs that they’re having panic attacks all the time and they just don’t know what they’re going to do – the bartender kept pumping them full of red sangria informing him that ‘in the real world, this is how the grown-ups handle stressful days.’ Over to the left side of the bar, you could tell it was a first date by the awkward in-person introduction outside of texting and gazing at match.com/plentyoffish.com profiles wondering if this person really could be their ever after, I mean they have so much in common like her middle name is the same as his sisters first name and they both had kittens named fluffy as a kid – clearly a match made in virtual heaven. I was very intrigued by these two – they looked a little out of place but were so into each other it was as if they were the only two in the room. Isn’t this how it should be? It’s a shame the flame on their candle of swoon burned out before dinner was served. Not really sure what happened, but you could totally see a glass shattering moment – they ate dinner because they were hungry and it had already been ordered, not because they were enjoying each other’s company anymore. Funny how one sentence or opinion can pull the carpet out from underneath the fantasy you know they spent days/weeks constructing in their minds. They finished dinner, paid equal portions and had an awkward parting. My friends showed up shortly after so we relocated to the outside portion to meet up with co-workers who scored a table. There were a group of guys who appeared to be drowning their sorrows after being rejected from a Hollister photo shoot (think of the Abercrombie mad tv skit if you are familiar) and they were trying their hardest to hit on the women who were clearly older, dominant, independent and would never think to shop for clothes in any sort of non upscale designer shop before driving home to their million dollar apartment with great view in the newest Mercedes. Try as they might, the guys kept getting rejected – at this point, why not move on to the attainable girls, perhaps the ones their age inside all stressed out about their entry level jobs?! I must say, I give credit to anyone willing to go up and talk to the opposite sex, whether you think you have a shot or not, because those people with guts are worth listening to, until they say something that renders you feeling like the date at the bar earlier. Not all conversations go downhill though, and I have several friends I have made through this approach to prove it! I do think though that if you are being blatantly being blown off and asked to leave, you should pick up what’s left of your pride and move on to another group – these guys were not doing that. I took that as my cue to leave.

Next up was the happy hour at the Irish Pub to bid farewell to our friend Becky. She is moving in with her boyfriend a few states away and I think it’s awesome for her. She is that girl who grew up a child of extreme privilege and was lacking social graces and the ability to relate to people who didn’t have daddy to write checks for whatever whenever and having front row seats to all sporting events/concerts etc. I met Becky about 5 years ago and she was a tough one to get used to, but once you stopped questioning how she got through life she became easier to be around. I did have huge issues with her dating life though since she would only date/sleep with co-workers and married men and complain about how she was still technically single. There are tens of thousands of eligible guys in the city so why not bump uglies with someone who doesn’t go home to a wife and children? The million dollar question I suppose. As for the co-workers, her father is an executive at the same company, so no one wanted to be known as the guy fucking the boss’ daughter, can’t say I blame them. Anyway, Becky met Tom a few months ago, there is a 10 year age difference, she being the older of the two and she is convinced that he is ‘the one.’ Watching them out in public is actually refreshing – you know, since he will actually go out in public with her because there is no wife or co-worker to worry about catching them canoodling.

I remember being that girl that would be involved with guys who just wanted o come over and hang out. I was so naïve in my younger days, I never put it together that there was either someone else in his life or he just didn’t want to actually be seen out in public with me for some other reason. Becky and Tom hung out for a bit longer then said their good-byes and left to finish packing. My two friends and I were off to location three of the evening.

Once we get to the 3rd and final bar of the night, we get a table and some drinks made by our favorite bartender in the city and we look around at the clientele quasi judging like the old Muppet guys in the balcony. At this point, it’s about 9:00 and the place was still really crowded due to the baseball game being on. A group of girls came walking in about ten minutes later and they were dressed for a nightclub - not a laid sports back bar such as this one. By the time the last girl filed in, I observed 2 guys slip their wedding rings into their pockets and a few others sort of step back from the females in the group they were with, just so there was no confusion about them actually being involved with said female. Most of the guys were in their mid-late 30s and the girls were about 21 and 1 day. The girls didn’t stay long since they didn’t seem to be on the prowl for someone they would find on sugardaddies.com. There was also a group of women in their late 20s early 30s that were dressed in clothes that looked like they came from their high school closets when they shopped at DEB – friends don’t let friends leave the house wearing clothes that are not flattering and about 3 sizes too small! I am all for people going out and getting a piece of ass or looking for love/lust/part time lovers/ever after, but I do believe you need to wear something that flatters you as this will help exude your inner confidence and increase your chances. If you are tugging at your shorty short skirt or tucking your boobs back into place, you probably shouldn’t be wearing it. This is why my night was a happy/sad hour kind of night – it is sad to see what people are putting themselves through to get noticed and chances are, the person that will notice you in your ill fitting outfit, is paying attention to you for all the wrong reasons. Try as they might, every girl that thought she brought her A game, ended up on the bench feeling defeated wallowing in their respective apple martini. If you ask me, they dodged a bullet since most of these guys are taken and/or clearly emotionally unavailable and these girls need a lot of positive re-enforcement. By 10:30 or so, I was all tuckered out from my people watching and figured it best I go home to my apartment where, although I was going home alone, I knew I wouldn’t be breaking up any marriages because of my actions or having to cut myself out of an outfit that was much too small for my stature and I was okay with that. I guess this is growing up?!...

Point of the conversation: The most essential accessory you should never leave home without and will flatter any outfit you are wearing is self confidence and self worth – it matches EVERYTHING. Know that you can go out there and go after what you want; just try to make sure what you want is wearing the same accessory as you so you can properly coordinate.

- Scarlett

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