27 April 2011

"The Only Straight I am is Straight-Up Bitch."

This was Santana’s episode. She comes up with a plan to win Britney: she’ll become prom queen and convince Britney by royal decree to be with her.

But for a bitch like her to win prom queen votes, she’ll need some help. She decides that bringing Kurt back to McKinley is the best way to make her popular enough to win, so she enlists Kurt’s tormentor, Karofsky. She threatens to out Karofsky (who she caught looking at Sam’s ass), comes clean herself as a “closet lesbian”, then suggests that they pretend to date, acting as each other’s beards since they “play for the same team”.

They form an anti-bullying alliance called The Bullywhips, and dress like Curtis Sliwa and the Guardian Angels with red jackets and berets. By cleaning up the bullying atmosphere at school, they make it safe for Kurt to re-enroll.

In an episode of great Santana visuals and great Santana quotes, she leaves us hanging at the last scene...Mr. Schuester convinces the kids to wear custom t-shirts with their most difficult-to-accept trait printed in big letters on front. Britney makes a shirt for Santana that says “LEBANESE” (harks back to the old Golden Girls joke, and is Brit’s misunderstanding of “lesbian”) but Santana refuses to wear it. Until the last scene, which shows her sitting in the audience, watching the glee club perform “Born This Way” by Lady Gaga, wearing her LEBANESE shirt. Cut and scene.

Let’s keep going with this storyline!

- Maura McGurk


  1. Maura: do you write for "Glee?" lol I was thinking how funny it was when Britney gave that shirt to Santana - I immediately thought of your GG post! I'm dying to find out where they are going with this also . . .


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