18 March 2011

Waiting for Flakes Malone

I give everyone the benefit of the doubt - especially a cute guy.

As often as I do it, I abhor the hook-up process. I crack open a beer or crush a cup of wine; log onto my favorite sites, neatly have them occupy different parts of the computer screen; and begin my search. Now, sometimes it takes a moments.

Log on.
PING!
DeeCue: Hey, what's up?
Random Guy 1: Nothing; come over.
DeeCue: OK.

Other times, it takes hours. Sheesh!

Log on.
...
...
...
...
Yawn.
...
...
...
PING!
Random Guy 2: Hey do you travel?
DeeCue: Yeah; where to?
Random Guy 2: East Jabib.

Seriously?

I know: why would you spend so much time on that thing anyhow? Do something productive with yourself, DeeCue! But my VERY weak argument? What if this IS the moment I meet Mr. Right? I am a romantic at heart; and unless a situation like "Serendipity" happens again, I'm stuck with online searching. At least for now. To rationalize, the risk of going out and meeting someone at a bar is they are uber-social and into the 'gay-bar scene.' I can't put up with that front for very long.

DeeCue: So, what do you do?
Random Guy 3: Well, I -- (turning to passerby) Hey, girl! How are you? Haven't seen you since White Party last week! Let me know if you are able to find out who gave us that great Tina; shit was goo-ood!
DeeCue: So, you do meth.

But every so often you do get someone who, by the time hour two of online flirting and interrogation is over, you are dying to meet up with already or eventually.

8:00 - Half afraid I'd be early, the other half afraid I'd be too fashionably late, I show up thirty minutes before the actual date by accident. As I listen to the jams on my iPod, I think of places to kill a little time.
8:11 - The Gap: "Good ol' Gay And Proud." They clothed me when I was a naked, college fratboy. They will not touch my smooth skin ever again. Something happened to them, teetering on Old Navy and Target.
8:22 - Starbucks: Grande, two Splendas. I find a corner in the joint and see how this could be potentially awkward as a 'Hi, nice to meet you for the very first time' type of place, especially with all tables being two inches apart. I have a seat anyway.
8:31 - [Text:] "I'm running late."
9:02 - Not here yet.

As I stand to leave at that moment, I hear behind me: Hey, DeeCue?

Point of the conversation: If you wait, they will cum come.

- DeeCue

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