04 March 2011

Government BJob

Just another Saturday night at one of the local spots with my girls – that’s how most weekends are ‘supposed’ to go and rarely does it play out that way. Two of my friends ran into some guy they went to college with and start exchanging generic pleasantries leaving me to talk to friends’ wingman – Drew. Drew was easy on the eyes and enjoyable to talk to so I didn’t mind, plus how can you not love watching a drunk white boy try to moonwalk? I surmised that his hips didn’t lie and he looked like he’d be fun to play with (looks can be deceiving – remember that). We started throwing back shots and talking about books – I know I know, excellent pillow talk at the bar right?! He dropped a book title known and respected by only a few and I was in possession of the very book he quoted as his favorite. I knew I had to get him to my lady lair and show him that we had fate in our favor and there was something that needed to be explored, even if only for fates fleeting moment.

Getting him back was the easy part – wasting half a box of Trojans' finest on the ‘best night of sex he’s ever had’ was the hard part. We had rocked the romp session all night; perhaps I should mention that Drew worked for the government and was relocating in the coming weeks out of state which was great for my no strings attached mantra. I even played along fulfilling the girl in catholic school uniform fantasy he had. The next morning we laid in bed talking about everything and nothing which was more enjoyable than the sex for me – although Drew gave his all, his little general wasn’t so much a prominent rising star and I was left more sexually frustrated than when I set out on this little endeavor. Drew had to get going around noon and I clearly needed to go to the drug store to get more condoms for my next attempted conquest to make up for this colossal let down. I had recently burned a mix cd for friends and had an extra one sitting on the table near where he had dropped his personal affects; he seemed intrigued so I gave him one on the way out. He got fantasies fulfilled, excellent conversation and a parting gift while I had to restock the condom stash and find someone to unleash my sexual frustrations on – I felt like I was in a relationship for a minute there! I never heard from Drew again but I can find peace knowing he went back out there defending These United States a little more relaxed and able to focus because of our late night adventure at booty camp.

Point of the conversation: There are other ways of serving your country that do not involve enlisting; sometimes you just need to sacrifice your libido and give an agent a memorable fuck.

- Scarlett

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