19 January 2011

Golden Girls, Thank You for Being a Friend (and Ally)

There’s been an embarrassment of riches on TV lately...just as I was writing about current TV shows that featured gays as fully realized characters, a Golden Girls rerun came on to remind me how that show was embracing gays 25 years ago:

It’s the middle of the night. Dorothy and Sophia are sharing a bed. Dorothy wakes Sophia.

DOROTHY: Ma, what would you do if one of your kids was gay?

SOPHIA: Phil is gay?

DOROTHY: No, Phil’s not gay.

SOPHIA: You’re gay? What, Jean’s running a membership drive? I know you don't get that many dates, but stick with what you know. At your age, it's hard to try something new.

DOROTHY: No Ma, I'm not gay. I just wanted to get your reaction.

SOPHIA: Well, if one of my kids was gay, I wouldn't love him one bit less. I would wish him all the happiness in the world.

DOROTHY: Because you're the greatest mother in the world.

SOPHIA: Thank you. Now shut your big fat lip so I can get some sleep.


DOROTHY: Jean thinks she's in love with Rose.

(Sophia laughs sarcastically)

DOROTHY: Ma, that is not funny!

SOPHIA: The hell it's not. Jean in love with Little Miss Muffet? Come on!

(They both laugh hysterically. Blanche walks in)

BLANCHE: What's going on in here?

SOPHIA and DOROTHY: Nothing.

BLANCHE: I heard you two laughing. What's up?

SOPHIA: Well, for starters, Jean is a lesbian.

BLANCHE: What's so funny about that?

SOPHIA: Aren't you surprised?

BLANCHE: No, why should I be? Isn't Danny Thomas one?


BLANCHE: Lesbian...Lesbian....LESBIAN! Isn’t that where one woman...(gestures vaguely)

DOROTHY: We already know what it means.

BLANCHE (slightly confused): Jean's a very attractive woman, she could have any man she wants.

DOROTHY: But she doesn't want them.

BLANCHE: But a man has so much more to offer, Dorothy, you know what I mean?

DOROTHY (dryly, as only Dorothy can): You know, that was the case with Mark Purper when he was running for class president back in the third grade.

BLANCHE: What does that have to do with anything?

DOROTHY: His slogan was "Vote for me and I'll show you my wee-wee". He won by a landslide!

BLANCHE: I'll say if Jean likes someone of the same sex then it's alright by me...

DOROTHY: There's one more thing...

SOPHIA: Jean thinks she's in love with Rose!

BLANCHE (dramatically): You mean, Jean has the hots for ROSE! I don't believe it! I just don't believe it!

DOROTHY: We were surprised also.

BLANCHE (indignantly): I'll bet! To think Jean would prefer Rose over me? Come on!

DOROTHY: Blanche, please!

BLANCHE (competitively): Think about it, if you were gay, who would you choose, huh?!

DOROTHY: Blanche, pull yourself together!

BLANCHE (visibly calming herself): Oh, I'm so sorry. Does Rose know?

DOROTHY: No she doesn't.

BLANCHE (slyly and with feeling): Good, I don’t think we oughta tell her. After all, she's not as worldly and sophisticated about these things as I am.

SOPHIA: You tell her Danny Thomas is a lesbian, it'll break her heart.

Good work, Girls!

- Maura McGurk

1 comment:

  1. I remember watching this episode (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=P-3QTMjZvN4) in the denial phase of my gayness. It was one of the few things that made me feel validated and safe. Great pick. DeeCue


Thanks for your comment! Please 'follow" us by clicking on the "follow" link to the left of the site page. Glad you are reading.