25 August 2010

Jack Skellington


My sister's-now husband introduced me to a close, family friend who he believed to by my type. He was in a fairly popular local band - enough said.  Like so many women, I have a weakness for musicians - especially guitar players - so I agreed to be set up and meet him. 

Mistake #1: Never, EVER date someone that can potentially be in your life for-EVER (and not by choice) 

I was pleasantly surprised when we met; he was cute in a subtle way. We exchanged numbers and started to talk regularly. At first, things were running very smoothly and according to everyone's plan ("everyone" being my family and friends who always await the day I'll find a nice boy to settle down with) They were thrilled when we we starting dating. He would always invite me to watch him play with his band and then shortly after I started meeting his family and friends. 
So, up to this point nothing major had occurred to forewarn me of danger ahead. Well almost: he lived with his parents. 

Mistake #2: Never, EVER date a guy who still lives with his parents.

At the time, I was at an age where you could still get away with living at home. Fresh out of college, chances are your parents are still willing to let you mooch off of them. You don't have to contribute by paying rent or assist with household expenses. In some way, it's the intelligent thing to do when new to the work force. Well at least that's what I'd tell myself so I didn't feel like a complete loser for dating a guy whose roommates were his parents. 

Let's not forget that he was a unemployed and struggling musician (words that have become excessively synonymous) he thought it would be wise to stay home as long as he could, until his "career" was on a better track. He finally invited me to stay at "his" place because his parents were going to be away and we'd have "the place to ourselves." I packed an overnight bag and drove to his parents'. They lived in a modest apartment that was tidy with minimal decor. His parents filled the walls and side tables with pictures of him, he was an only child, after all.

Mistake # 3: Never date an only child.

So as he's giving me the grand tour and we arrive to his room -

OMG.

Every wall in his room was covered. Posters and stickers of movies, music and sport teams camouflage the walls from ceiling to floor. His walls were buried with all this shit most people would just discard. It seemed as though he entertained himself by scotch-taping memorabilia to any space he could find. He had countless Simpson and Disney figurines propped up on selves and the desk top space in the room. He even had a life size Jack Skellington from The Nightmare before Christmas. I'm no organizational expert, but this definitely fell under some category of hoarding maybe even mixed with a slight case of Peter Pan syndrome. He was stuck in 1993 for heaven's sake! 

I took one for the team that night, despite being staked out by Jack Skellington and throngs of little beady plastic eyes all over the room. I squeezed along side him in his twin sized bed and we were both off to Never Never land. 

Point of the conversation: Jack Skellington is a creep

- La La

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